


I Promise Not to Get Lost in Your Eyes

by rowaning



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Asexual Character, Other, Spoilers for Episode: e174 Impact (Rusty Quill Gaming), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 10:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowaning/pseuds/rowaning
Summary: Oscar Wilde, newly resurrected and barely lucid, accidentally lets his feelings for Zolf show. Those feelings are not reciprocated.
Relationships: Zolf Smith & Oscar Wilde
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	I Promise Not to Get Lost in Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the fall of Earhart's second ship. 
> 
> Some context for this headcanon: Zolf is aware that Wilde is in love with him, Wilde is aware that Zolf is not in love with him, usually this is fine but he slips up because he's super out of it.

Zolf sits beside Oscar Wilde’s formerly dead body. His head is in his hands as the sorrow and exhaustion from the past few days finally threatens to overwhelm him. Wilde looks peaceful. If you ignore the bandages crisscrossing his chest, his limbs, his head. If you ignore the dark red stains threatening to seep into the top layer of cloth. If you ignore the mess of scar tissue just visible at the edges. If you ignore the unnaturally pale skin and the slightly off-rhythm breathing. If you ignore all that, he could just be sleeping.

After what feels like weeks, but probably is only hours, Wilde shifts. Zolf’s head snaps up suddenly, alerted by the sound of rustling sheets. Wilde groans and his eyes flutter. He shifts in place, groaning more as the injuries make themselves known. His eyes open, but they’re hazy and unfocused. Zolf knows better than to manhandle a patient in a delicate stage of recovery. Zolf is also an exhausted emotional wreck who’s been standing vigil over Wilde’s unconscious body for what could have been an eternity, desperately searching for some sign of life. He leaps out of his chair, dashes towards the bed and pulls Wilde into a tight hug, squeezing just long enough to feel his lungs expand under his bruised ribs and find his pulse. Wilde makes another pained sound and Zolf lets him go, delicately laying him back down on the bed.

“You’re alive. I can’t believe it, you’re alive!” says Zolf. His voice breaks and tears fill the corners of his eyes.

“Zolf?” Wilde slurs slightly as he speaks. “What... where?” He stares at Zolf, unfocused blue eyes meeting tearful grey. He keeps staring for a moment, dazed, then shakes his head slightly and quickly looks away. Zolf, not quite registering Wilde’s state, begins to babble as the emotional toil of the past few days finally breaks through his defenses.

“Thank the gods you’re ok. All of ‘em, even Poseidon. I prayed to every single one I could remember the name of that you’d come through and you did. You did, oh gods...” The tears start to fall from Zolf’s eyes.

“It was bad, Wilde. It was so, so bad. You were dead. I saw your body, it was right in front of me. When Azu pulled you down from that rock I-... A-and your head was- and your neck- There- there was so much blood and I didn’t want to believe it but I couldn’t find a pulse and spines aren’t meant to twist like that and-” Zolf is fully crying now, face contorted with the memory of seeing Wilde’s broken body where he had been flung from the airship.

“You were dead, Wilde. You were dead and so many people were dead and hurt and I had to help them, I had to be there for them and keep it together even though you were dead. You’re my oldest and closest friend and I’ve lost so many people and then I lost you too and I just-” Zolf reaches out and takes Wilde’s hand. He holds it lightly, a reminder that this is real. That he’s ok, that he will be ok.

“I’m just so, so relieved that you’re alright.” He looks up at Wilde’s face, tears streaming down his own.

“Do you really mean that?” whispers Wilde. His voice is soft and hoarse, and there’s a tired slur in his speech.

“What do I mean- Of course I mean it, I mean every part of it.” says Zolf, and there’s concern tinting the edges of his sentence. He starts to run through Wilde’s medical status, performing the standard checks. Wilde tries to brush him off but can barely lift his arm without groaning and wincing in pain.

“I only mean to say that I have a hard time understanding you, Zolf.” There’s more control in his voice now, still hoarse but stronger, more steady. The airs of confidence begin to reassert themselves in his manner.

“I remember a time when you quite openly hated me. It’s so odd how these things change. Has anyone told you you have beautiful eyes?” There’s a strange tone in Wilde’s voice, one Zolf has only heard once before. He turns his hand slightly, holding Zolf’s as much as he’s able. Zolf eases off from his diagnostics, but keeps his hand in Wilde’s.

“Yeah, things change. People change. The world changes. I didn’t like you when I met you, but now you’re my closest living friend, and I can’t afford to lose that.” Zolf speaks carefully, watching for Wilde’s reaction. Wilde just continues staring at him with hazy, slightly dreamy eyes. He starts to lean forward, then frowns and lies back down.

“Zolf, can I ask you a favour? Ideally without judgment.” Wilde asks the far wall.

“Of course, anything.” Zolf gives Wilde’s hand what he thinks is a reassuring squeeze, but Wilde winces.

“Could you give me some privacy, perhaps? I’m afraid that I’m not in my right mind and I’m worried that if you stay any longer, I’ll be sorely tempted to do something I’ll regret.” Wilde continues to look at the wall. He drops Zolf’s hand, and moves so they are no longer touching. His face is not quite hidden from Zolf, and pain flickers across his features. He’s much more candid than usual, in this semi-lucid state. Zolf frowns with concern, until realization flashes across his mind and then his face.

“Oh! Oh no- I, you know- it’s not... like that...” stammers Zolf, his face starting to redden.

“I know. That’s why I’ll regret it. I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you, Zolf. But I’m not quite in control of all my faculties right now.” Wilde says. He turns back to Zolf, gazing once more up into his face. A wistful, almost forlorn smile creeps across his face and his eyes are slightly shimmery.

“You really do have beautiful eyes. A man could get lost in them. I promise I’ll try not to.” He sighs heavily. “Thank you for staying with me.”

Zolf tries to keep the shock and discomfort off of his face and manages a tight half-smile. He gives Wilde a light pat on the shoulder and turns to leave,

“I’ll send one of the druids to check on you.” He says gruffly. Before exiting the room, he pauses and turns back.

“Wilde- Oscar. I do care about you, a lot. And I’m glad you’re alive. I just don’t, you know, like that?” The question at the end is almost painful.

“I know. Just a temporary lapse in judgment, I can promise it won’t become a regular occurrence. Give the others my best?” Wilde replies. He closes his eyes as sleep starts to draw him in once more.

“’Course I will. Sleep well, Wilde.” Zolf leaves and quietly shuts the door behind him and, taking a moment to wipe his face, sets off to find the druids and his companions.

**Author's Note:**

> There's an alternate version of this where Zolf makes out with a semi-lucid Wilde and they live happily ever after like in a Harrison Campbell novel. I'm not interested in writing that version.
> 
> I might make a prequel of this with the scene about 3 months before the start of season 4 where Wilde has been gradually flirting more and more with Zolf who (because I'm massively projecting on him) has not noticed and thinks they're just having nice conversations. And then Zolf immediately realizes 'oh no this is rapidly becoming an uncomfortable, out-of-control situation' and there's a lot of messy confusion and discomfort and they realize that they don't want to lose their friendship and Wilde promises to keep his romantic tendencies out of said friendship. Basically the 'asexual character is not interested in a relationship, thanks' story that I don't get in media often enough.


End file.
